My clients want a change and they want it now. They don’t often know exactly what would make them super deliriously happy. They don’t really even know what makes them unhappy. Except they do know they just can’t go on the way it is. The truth is the deep dive takes time and it takes courage. Cuz what if you do the deep dive into your purpose or your proper career path and there is nothing there? What if you go inside and it’s like going to the wedding on the wrong day. Not a peep, not a soul, not a clue as to what really moves you. Then what? Well, funny enough, I guarantee you that WON’T happen. However you, who have stayed in that corporate closet so long you don’t trust me or anyone else for that matter. So anyway back to finding happiness while on the way to true purpose and super delirious happiness.
- Buy a journal. If you’re like any other person that’s tried to change your life or want to be more creative, you probably have one that’s in your closet with about three pages written on and when it got dull or awkward well it went into the closet. Go get that one. Rip out the crappy pages you wrote on and pretend its new. If you bought a good journal then carefully cut out those stinky pages reminding you of past failures. This is what we call a beginning.
- Start carrying the journal with you. You’ll write in it when you see, touch, smell, taste something that makes you smile. Or if you accidently (in air quotes) destroy something that needed to go away. Write it down. I expect, not that I will see your journal, that you’ll have no less than one occurrence and up to maybe ten occurrences daily.
- Next do what Marcus Buckingham calls the love it, loathe it exercise. He has a wonderful Australian accent so when he says loathe it it makes sense. On one of your pages in the journal make two columns with a line across the top for the headings; LOVE IT and LOATHE IT. As you streak through your day notate when you realize an activity or task that you love doing on the left column. In addition to that notice when you loathe some activity, task, meeting or interchange with colleagues that you loathe.
- Move off the I’m just trying to survive mode to energize your numb approach to your current job. This is critical to feel the joy you have to feel all aspects of the job. If you’re numb the above exercise becomes even more difficult. Yes, I fully understand that a survival tactic is in fact to numb out regularly.
- Smile. Indiscriminately and without explanation. First of all it will be fun to watch how people respond to you. They will no doubt believe you know more than you do or you’ve just destroyed something that made you horribly unhappy. Either way they’ll want to know more. The added bonus of torturing your coworkers is the physiological response to the muscle movement of smiling actually makes you feel more optimistic and happier. Yep it’s like a prescription that you’re not supposed to fill. And it’s free.
- Do some research on your own personal history. What the? Yes, I mean think back. Think way back. As a kid, what got you in trouble? What did you get written up and notes sent home about that horrible behavior the teacher couldn’t control? Come on, you know we all have that. Unless you were the super good boy or the super good girl. But really come one you know you wanted to be bad. So fess up. How did you get in trouble? Or if need be, how did you get others in trouble?
- Now walk the nice aisle. What did you do, as a kid, for fun? What did you always play? Teacher? Build stuff with legos? Blow stuff up with chemistry set? Make gourmet brownies with your easy bake oven? Were you always in the kitchen cooking? Were you outside playing. What? Were you the leader who got all the kids together to play? Were you the one who was looking at the science projects called nature? What was it?
- Now on to your transcripts. Yes, there is archival data points that we want to pull forward into the next chapter of your career. What did you do well in? Okay if you’re that A student. What did you do really well in? If not (like me) what did you have exceptional grades in? What professors did you connect with or enjoy the most? What category or classes on the list of potential topics you would enjoy studying again?
- Bring in donuts. It cuts the tension and makes you undeniably popular. Not bagels, donuts.
- What else do you notice that has started (or stopped) happening since you started carrying your journal?
Now using the dwell research method sit with an open mind and read what you’ve found out in the past few weeks. Read it slowly. Sit back. It will come to you. But you have to give it space to come to you. There are pearls of wisdom in this journal. Put it down. And go about your way. Then peak back into it. Add to it. It will track some secrets and reveal them when you’re ready. If it doesn’t jump out at you, give it time. Or gather more data. It’s there.
But of course you can show me your journal and I’ll tell you what I see there. No really, you can trust me.
