Crazy Big Goals.

They say if your goals don’t scare you a little, they aren’t big enough.

When President John Kennedy spoke of putting a man on the moon, it was unthinkable. And then it happened. It was one of those moments that everyone stopped and turned on the television to watch. We watched it because it was achieved. It was 1969 and I clearly remember the setting and people in the room when that happened and we watched. Something that was unthinkable was achieved. We watched, knowing if this is possible, what else is possible?

What’s your “man in the moon” goal for your career? For the team? For the company? For your industry? For mankind? Why not you?

What “man in the moon” goals have you achieved? I was the first in my family to graduate from college. That was my Dad’s “man in the moon” goal. Okay it might have been mine too with my GPA. All the technology that we use today without thought (unless they aren’t fast enough) or entertainment or new biochemistry that heals what used to be a death sentence are all someone’s dream of changing the world and “man in the moon” projects.

When you go to work today, take a few minutes and think about what changes would make the process more efficient, effective, profitable, safer or generally more pleasant or better.

Back to your goals… What goal would you like to go after, but it seems too big? What skills would you need to learn, practice or develop? What behaviors do you exhibit that are getting in the way of those crazy big goals? What support do you need to get started?

To know if you’re really interested in that goal, ask yourself the series of whys from the LEAN thought process. This series of asking “Why did this happen?” five times until you get to the root cause works with values, too. But the why question is a little different. You need to ask yourself “Why is this important to me?”

This might require a little quiet time. You may need to have someone you trust ask the series of whys to hold you to answering them. In the process you’ll find the heart of what’s really important to you. Is it connected to your goal? Is your core value contraindicative to your goal? If not, then move on to what’s really important.

In fact, when you realize what’s really important, do a little self-assessment about how close your team or career are aligned with those values. Then create some freaky big goals.

By the way, those ideas not only make the world around you better, they then move your career forward.

Let me know if you would like additional resources to make goal setting successful to you!

Motivational Idea for Week 35

Motivation is even more important today than a week ago.  Actually, not really more important, but just as important as it was a week ago.  It’s Sunday night, the Packer’s are beating the Bears  so all is right with the world.  Now I am starting to think about my week ahead.  I promised that I would put new motivational ideas here weekly.  Since I couldn’t get it posted on Friday I thought I would add this before the next week started.

Week 35
Start a book club – a business book club.  Put it on the calendar and put it into the work day.  They may (like there’s even a chance) not get time to read during the day.  But talking about the content of the book during the day makes sense as it’s a strong component of leadership development.  The employees build their library, you build your people, you gain a cohesively formed team, and they build internal relationships and grow their resources especially if the club is cross departmental.   Select the list of top business books including a selection of team building, communication skills, presentation skills, change management, innovation or biographies.  When they come to consensus on the books they are using team skills and self forming groups with emergent leadership.  It’ll bring out useful skills in other situations.

Start with one of my great take-aways from grad school which is a book on how to read a book in 30 minutes.   I thought this was an optional book.  But it was THE single best book I bought, EVER!   The book is by Mortimer Adler and it’s called How to Read a Book: The Classic Guide to Intelligent Reading. This book will save you and your people hours of time wading through the pulp of a great book.  They will read more if they can get through the books faster.  So will you.

If your team is dispersed bring them in via teleconference.   The program would be especially effective with a sales team who is separated by distance around the country.

Establish some ground rules or let them form their own group and rules.  Here are sample ground rules:
1.    Get a core group of people to start it.
2.    Establish a regular schedule.
3.    Advertise the program.
4.    Create a simple list of questions to create a dialogue on the book; over all reaction, biggest take away, any surprises, any inconsistencies, anything we can implement, how?
5.    Ask for stand in facilitators to each volunteer to manage a meeting.
6.    Start with a list of books to schedule.
7.    Give it twelve months with a few months off during vacation season or the tough season for your business.

Trust that you employees will be responsible and fulfill their commitment to the group.  They will have to contribute or be noticeably a slacker.  Regardless of how much they read they will get the gist of the book and the benefits of reading the book by attending the meeting or reading part of the book.

I would love to hear how this idea works in your office.

10 Ways to Energize Your Job Search!

What to do if you don’t know what to do.

So I have spent more time procrastinating on this blog than ever before. Oh…I guess I am not counting the time before I even started the blog and posted my first one. It’s amazing what a person can do to distract oneself from the task at hand. Is distract the right word? Or would protect be a better word? I don’t know since blogging is the way I will connect with people who need to change their organization or want to change their career. If I don’t blog my business won’t grow. That seems like that should be incentive enough to move the hands to keyboard right? Well eventually it was or you wouldn’t be reading anything new on my blog. But what was the problem? In looking back I don’t know the exact spot where the problem rises and thwarts my efforts to succeed. What I do know is that procrastination is insidious and comes in many logical rational forms which give appearance to working. It looks like I am actually doing my job but am I doing the most important thing I need to do at the time.

Part of my problem was that I wasn’t really clear on what to write about. I coach on conflict but I see so many people stuck in the hard part of change. What’s more important? Either way it’s a conflict either with yourself, someone in your organization or the change itself. So I sit at a blank page and what? I don’t usually work that way. I do nothing (or so it appears to those watching) and then when I write it takes no time at all. But until I get the idea I am flustered and actually quite hard on myself. So instead of giving you ideas of growing your emotional behavioral self I am going to give you ideas of what to do when you need to germinate an idea, or motivate yourself to write that cover letter or pick up the phone to call someone new in your network.

Ten ways to bring new life into your change process:

1. Take a break from your electronic screen(s). A full cup cannot accept more. With additional room (quiet) you’ll find new ideas. Look away from the screen. Besides you don’t let your kids watch as much TV or play as many video games as they want to and you know why, because it doesn’t evoke creativity.
2. Coach someone on the same topic. Doing something nice for someone else feels good but it makes you aware of what you can do. It’s actually third order of learning which solidifies new information in your own brain and behavioral pattern.
3. Finish something that’s hanging out there. It’s started. It was a great idea when you started it. It’s just hanging out there calling to you. FINISH IT! You get the reward of it being done but positive psychologists connect accomplishment to happiness which I equate to creativity.
4. Give back to the community. Volunteering, positive psychologists show incremental sustainable happiness through helping others. Get involved with an organization that brings out your passion; you’re productive, it feels good and who knows who you might meet.
5. Bring a plant home. Digging your hands in the dirt has great rewards. First it’s good for the planet, second the feeling of your hands in the dirt brings you back to solid ground (no pun intended) and third the physicality of moving dirt around for live entity is empowering. Better yet start a kitchen garden and grow some delicious food that nourishes you body and mind which would be the fourth benefit.
6. Find something, anything to be grateful about. It might even be that your cup of coffee is the exact right temperature. People who are mindful of all the good in their lives are shown to have more genuine happiness.
7. Take a walk even if the weather isn’t optimal. Put your sneakers on and go outside. Say hello to everyone you see. I live in LA and it’s fun to get the surprised response from people. Connecting with people even at that level brings humanity back to your day.
8. Call someone who’s always delighted to hear from you. They may be an Aunt or an old friend whom you know would LOVE to hear from you. Those ten minutes can make their day and yours. If you can ask for their help on your stuck situation you might get a great idea. Who knows? They might have a lead or an idea for you. They have friends who have friends or kids in high places you’d like to be.
9. Plan a future date for something fun. How will you celebrate your new job when you get it? Is it a ski trip next season? A trip to botanical garden? Long lingering lunch with a dear friend before you go back to work?
10. Prepare to be busy. You know this time when you aren’t crazy busy will be gone before you know it and those projects that take time could be moved along now. Get new systems in place so when your time is much more structured things will go more smoothly.

In other words when you’re stuck or at a standstill with the job search or the project at hand do something counter intuitive. It’s amazing what happens when you take a break and replenish the juices. Stephen Covey in his book Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, talks about sharpening the saw using the analogy of cutting lumber (task) with a dull saw takes more time to cut the same amount of wood, than taking the time to sharpen the saw and then proceed with the same task. In that respect you could coach someone else on how to do the same thing you’re trying to do and see how productive you become. Now go play and find some new ideas!

10 signs you are in the way of getting a job

10 signs your emotions are getting in the way of getting a job

1. You didn’t go outside today (or yesterday.)
2. You stop taking calls from friends.
3. You wonder when telling people what’s going on if you’ve done enough or worse.
4. Your favorite thing to do is sleep. Or you wake up in a dark place you don’t like.
5. Late night television is better than going to bed.
6. Alcohol consumption increases to point of distraction. Whatever your drug of choice is that physically changes you or distracts you from getting a job.
7. You don’t go to networking meetings because “they don’t work.”
8. You talk to potential employers and network connections about how wronged you’ve been.
9. Even you wouldn’t hire the person on your resume.
10. You resent your coworkers who didn’t get laid off.

If you identify yourself in one of these issues, you’re reeling from the impact of layoffs. Yes, there is the financial part which is hard and fast. There is the tactical, technical part which again is logical and tangible. These are completely understood by you and your family.

But what are you doing with the actual process of grieving the loss of who you are without the J.O.B.? Many large brands laid off hundreds of thousands of people this past year or two. In our culture branding is synonymous with decision making. You decide quality and purchase value before you even enter the buying market. When employed by that brand your job is to build that business. That means you compare and contrast to the businesses you compete with in the line of business you sell. Number one in your industry or was your team number one in your class? Without the giant brand behind you what are you? Are you the candidate of choice? How does that translate to home? It’s worse when you are subconsciously asking if you are the spouse, friend, son, daughter of choice. Branding is innocuous so we don’t think about it. It’s always there. It’s just understood. Walk (or be pushed) away from personal alignment with that brand and you are, um, what? That void is real.

The second issue is time. Time for a job search is non-comparative to the “normal world. If you held any success in your previous position you could be on your blackberry 24/7 and it was active with lots of other people just like you. You called it keeping pace. In fact it was how you stayed relevant. Now how is the pace? Quiet? Can make your follow up calls in twenty minutes? Can you peruse the usual job sites in another hour? Thankfully it takes a couple of hours to truly commit to sending a well written cover letter to the right person by doing a little research into your extended network. Or then what do you do? Do you watch daytime television? How do you fill your day, days, weeks…and now is it months?

Third, how do you explain to those around you how productive you are when you don’t feel like that’s enough? Do you tell your spouse, yes, I only applied to one job? Has your enthusiasm faded in your search? You feel it, your family feels it. How do you reassure them when you need reassurance? They have the same fears as you. When they ask you about the path you’re on they want you to be strong and they may not be able to mask their fears after time either. When you both need reassurance what happens? You still need to have a brave front face that empty page every day.

There are people who can help. Get individual or group support with people who aren’t directly impacted by your layoff but can support you through yours. Even if you’re excited to be moving to the next step it’s okay to surround yourself with a productive group of supportive people. Who are facing the same issues as you face. It’s time to talk about what’s going on inside.  I know…I have been there.  It’s a wild, but not fun ride.

Patricia Weiland
www.sage4change.com

Fearless Job Search – What’s that?

What to do with the emotional side of unemployment?

No one talks about the dark side of being out of a job.  That place is reserved just for you.  You don’t share with anyone just how scary unemployment can be.  That’s a lonely place.  What do you do when you’ve gotten the thirteenth voice mail instead of talking to a person or the third no?  Do you walk to the kitchen to grab something cool to drink and you look twice at the beer but realize, it’s only 10:00 in the morning?  Nice.  So you’re unemployed and a drinker. That won’t help but it sure would feel good.  Then you realize (again) that you’re still responsible for the safety and welfare of your family and oh yeah and responsible for you.  Uh huh!  It’s no small a task to stay fearless in the face of rejection.  But who wants to hear about the rough side?  Not my ____ .  Fill in the blank with wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, parents, or even my friends.  They can’t stand to see me suffering.  They want it over as badly as I do.   In fact they are going through their own version of this situation.  What do I do?
Does this sound familiar?  When I was “impacted by layoffs” from an offshoot of Disney, I learned a lot about life transition.  Great uh-huh?  Who is up for another life lesson?  Wait we’re in the middle of it.  There is no turning back once you’re laid off you’re going through the process and it’s brutally honest, painful and scary.   What do you do with that?  It’s not all bad but the intensity of these feelings cannot to be ignored.  They can be stuffed but they don’t go away.  You can manage these on your own or you can join a group of people in the same situation as you to discuss the really really of managing the tough emotion of being unemployed or should we call it between employment gigs?

What these calls are:

• Varying topics addressing challenging aspects of the full time job of seeking employment
• Productive way to acknowledge the frustration and release  the feelings
• A safe place to put a voice to the fear without creating a bigger problem at home
• Support through ideation and brainstorming

What these calls are not:

• Tactical approach to the job search
• A bitch fest
• Endless blathering on about the woes of the world

Preview session Thursday  April 9th at 10 am PDT.  Send an email to info@sage4change.com for the phone number a bridge for this complimentary call!  Join us for a real conversation.

Are meltdowns allowed? Even for senior staff or a business owner?

Here we are almost at the end of March.  Didn’t we think things were all shiny and new in 2009?  Things were going to be different this year.  Guess what the first quarter is over. Oh…yeah… my heart sank when I said that in fact the pit of my stomach is teaming with activity.  Running my own business requires more core strength than I first thought.   The truth is that no one really faces how many hours go into growing the business.  No one clearly outlines for you the number of hours you’ll spend thinking about what you could or should being doing.  No one tells you that you’re doing it right.  And unfortunately no one tells you that you’re doing it wrong.  If you just knew you could be productive because you move from the worry to action.  Right?  I guess not hearing an answer to that means I am right.  It’s no different really for leaders and senior executives in corporations.  Leaders are in positions where they are expected to carry the weight of the organization, not show stress, not have tantrums and certainly not ever be fearful.  What if?

What if leaders showed their fear?  What if entrepreneurs really knew the challenges of the lonesome road to creating a new business?  What if senior executives knew that the next step on the ladder was even more isolating than the previous step?  Would they take that risk?  Would they be less inclined to start that business?  Would they decline the corner office?  I say we all knew!  We intellectually knew this wasn’t the easy path.  Not everyone is cut out to get to the top.
Not everyone is cut out for building your own business.  Just like not everyone is fully prepped when they leave college to get that senior level position they think they’ve just prepared to hold. Achievers go where they intellectually know it’s hard but figure some way they’ll get through.  Feeling every hour of the path to success is vastly different.  The path is up and down.

What do you do with those moments when think your stomach will bring up lunch or that your knees won’t hold you?  What do you do?  You’re alone in your office and it’s quiet.  You’re in the car on the way to a challenging meeting?  On a plane when no one is tugging at you as distraction what do you do?

Stop! Where is the feeling?  First take a deep breath sending that oxygen into that area.  Acknowledge those feelings are real because until you do they won’t go away.

Drop! Drop the resistance.  It’s there.  It’s information. It’s your body giving you information that the situation is intense and it requires additional strength.  It’s also way to let you know that your body is holding that intensity

Roll! Roll through the feelings.  Understand those feelings are simply information.  If you acknowledge them the intensity may grow at first but they will diminish.  This is the way your body releases that tension.  Hold on and it grows…roll through it, look at it and release it, it goes away.

It’s going to happen.  Have a strategy to roll through it.  The intensity might diminish if you put a planned release valve in place.  Next time you’re on the verge of a meltdown.  Where do you feel it?  Your stomach aches.  Or your shoulders are practically up against your ears.  Try something new; STOP DROP and ROLL!

Love My Sunday!

It’s Sunday night…do you know where your heart lies? I mean career wise? Sitting here enjoying my Sunday afternoon I am reminded of a time back in my career when I didn’t love what I do. Around 2:30 on Sunday afternoons I started to get a stomach ache. I had to lie down. Really I didn’t think that it was more than just pushing too hard during the weekend and may have stayed out a little too late on Saturday night. Imagine my surprise when my a friend suggested there might be a correlation between Sunday afternoon stomach ache and Monday morning road rage on the drive into work and maybe that I was not suited for that job. What?

My job was great. It was a high profile, prestigious job even glamorous by some standards. So what was wrong with me for not being excited to go hit it hard on Monday morning? Why did I start to worry on Sunday? That job wasn’t right for me.How did I know that? Aside from the stomach ache, which as obvious as hindsight can be, I now see clearly that I had a job fit problem. I didn’t realize something that easily be highlighted by a panel of assessments. Today I would simply read the report from my DISC, which you might be familiar in different forms as a behavioral assessment. Of course since that’s one that I did after I changed my career I and the results were not a big shock. They would be what we call validating or in other words “duh!”

My DISC tells me that highly analytical work takes the wind out of my sails. It’s something I can do but does it play to my strengths? No, I am more about creating relationships and connecting with people than following the strict policy and procedures. My high level of independence doesn’t allow for the rigidity of the environment I was in. That in combination with the tendency to rebel against the rules made for a very difficult working life. The job also called for strong negotiation skills. That was fun but I was a relationship builder and not necessarily a tough negotiator. Life can be so clear when looking at it in the past. Or you can enlist the resources available today. I now realize that I wouldn’t do it any differently. Well, maybe I wouldn’t have taken the DISC earlier and changed to a people oriented job sooner.

Love my Sundays!

The courage to blog…is it easier to just keep doing the things I always did?

Short answer is yes. However….
Today is the day! I am going to speak my mind and enter another something in my blog. Uh huh…every day it’s in my calendar to blog. Every day I press the snooze button on my outlook reminder. Then eventually I just dismiss it. Yes, it’s become “what I do” without acknowledging the cost to me. Of course I am responsible for my behavior since I am an adult. That hard part for a coach is that it’s what I tell my clients to do. Working the way into a more satisfying working relationship with peers or a more satisfying career requires greater emotional intelligence. The only way to increase by emotional intelligence is to increase awareness of what I am doing or as I would tell my clients they’re responsible for their own behavior.
I sit down to write and I feel panicked. Why do I feel panicked? I am not happy about this…I am physically feeling resistance to writing. In fact I am light headed and feel like I am about to pass out. Well, maybe not that bad, but certainly enough to distract me from writing. That doesn’t help me write my blog. Or is that the exact point of the physical reaction? Does that keep my away from what I fear might happen if I blog? How do I figure that out? Hmmm the obvious answer is to get a coach. I did that. Here I sit. The reality is that physical reaction is really good information. If I notice it and stop to find out the source I can address the basis and move through it. If I hit the snooze button and ignore the whole process I won’t ever be able to write.
My choice… do I address it or do I press the snooze button?
I choose to write. So now I am going to ask you to go through the process with me. At least I know I won’t be alone with my panic. Hmmm…. Let’s see where do I start? First a deep breath… okay one more… Then I ask myself where do I feel it? Mine is in the heart…beating fast. What is the worst case scenario? I write, and no one reads it? No…that’s not the worst case. The worst case is that someone will thing what I write is stupid. Okay, that’s probably going to happen. Someone will judge this writing. Okay is that it? No, not quite. What else is in there? Still panicked and feeling it in my heart. I’ll ask again, if some ne reads it and thinks it’s stupid, then what? Seriously, then what? I’ll be embarrassed. And then what? I will be more hesitant to write. Uh huh, and then what since you’re at least getting practice writing and no further behind right? Yes, um…well yes. So now how does it fit? Whew even more panic. Now what? Well I have to write as if I won’t print this or I won’t even get to the bottom of the issue. Well, now what? I am writing with / through the fear. Weird but I think that if I write I will die. Now I don’t think what I will write with incite any riotous action. But that was my thought. Somewhere along the way I was judged harshly for my writing, my words or my thoughts. Well, I grew up Catholic so there is that. But could that be it? Where am I now? Am I free to write? NO? How can there be more. What else? What could be worse than dying? Those words being used against me or worse those words being used against someone else. That’s the problem. I wouldn’t want anything I write to hurt someone. I often work with clients who have difficulty with conflict. When (in my case) blogging it’s for sole purpose is sharing the experience to help someone else through a challenging process by sharing. That should make it easier not more difficult. Does that eliminate the fear? Not entirely… I am still responsible for the content but the panic is diminished and well, it’s just a blog…right?

What the world needs now…

…is connection.  People are nervous.  It seems like there are more bizarre new stories.  There are more people driving just a little more aggressively.  And there are more crazy economy stories in the news.   What I also noticed is actually really cool.  People seem to be drawing upon their real resources.    By that I mean people.  People are are spending time with friends using resources that already exist in their homes.  Friends have actually asked me for favors and some favors were for their friends or neighbors.  I am happy to help where I can or connect them with someone in a position to help more.  People in fact are the best available and sustainable resources.  Mother Theresa suggesting that if you want to help make a difference go out and let someone know you’re interested in them and connect with them.  Okay so she was talking about homeless people and it’s a little daunting to give that connection to just anyone.  But why not start at home in our world.  I called a friend today.  She was having a rough day (which I didn’t know) and she picked up the phone because she knew it was me.   That connection was just what she needed to get centered.   She felt better and I felt good, well better than before.  So connect with people you care about and watch what happens.

Yelling at the office, really?

I was asked yesterday about problems my clients talk about.  I replied, “yelling in the office.”  But they asked so what’s the problem?  Hmmm… well isn’t that obvious?  They want them to stop yelling.   That’s not really the problem.  They aren’t talking to each other.  But they talk all the time.  So wha’t the problem?  really want them to talk to each other.  So what’s the problem?  We don’t know…but one thing we do know is that people need to engage others in the solution earlier in the process.  Get up from your desk and go talk to the person.  Yes, easier said than done.  What’s to stop you from talking to the person?  Is it your emotions?  Is it managing those emotions?  Is it how the person will act?  Or is it possilbly how you will react to them reacting?

Stop drop and roll….  when you’re in an emotional situation use this saying.  Stop – and take a deep breath.  Drop- your defenses.  Roll – with the conversation.  Stay open to what happens.  When you find yourself yelling or in the face of someone yelling STOP, DROP and ROLL….