The greatest gift about my mom (in hindsight) is all the life lessons she packed in while I was still listening. She was a process engineer with efficiency built in beyond my comprehension. She answered the many questions that I asked (and you know I had to have many questions). She inspired curiosity for knowledge and bringing in new ideas. She ran a household like she was creating a sustainable future. The house always had supplies necessary to build products efficiently. We had shared services which included laundry, meals, great working environment and advanced technology for building the knowledge base of the population.

Organizational behavior I learned from my mother:

• If you can afford beer, you can afford fruits and vegetables. If there is a bonus plan that’s funded, the budget can afford training where the ROI is greater.
• There are multiple ways to cool the oatmeal, mostly involving time, but you could stir it or eat from the very edge which cools first. There are many ways to get the job done, but time truly needs to be an ingredient. Apply technology and get creative to find solutions.
• A fever tells you whether you need to stay home from school/work. Looking for empirical data, not just emotional data, to make decisions. Ask “what’s going on?”
• Reading is fundamental. The basics are foundational to create real quality products.
• People from other cultures make the world interesting. Diversity along with curiosity derives better ideas for greater outcome.
• You can have fun on a school night, but you have to go to school the next day and contribute. I think this one is self-explanatory, but you do get energy from having fun too. Maybe even a little push for work/life balance or integration.
• Leave them wanting more. Create a demand for your product and you’ll always have buyers. And know when to leave the market.
• No news is good news. Trust that people have enough going on to get the job done independently.
• Bugs are interesting. Every aspect of an organization contributes to outcome and holds importance.

Leaders have the responsibility to create an environment that grows the people, protects the planet, and produces a profit. They call that triple bottom line. We’re all in this together or no one wins.

My mother’s warmth in leadership and wisdom is with me every day and I thank her for putting forward such a great effort to manage the organization with love and care. I wish I was closer. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

In my world, I notice that tenacity through the learning curve is where people are successful. How far do you push to get beyond the job done? Here are the stages that saved me many times to get through the learning curve:

1. Call a colleague to help you (subject matter expert)
2. The smarty pants colleague will go through the same process you did or better.
3. You won’t tell the colleague “I give up.”
4. The friend will take it away from you and bring it back done.
5. The friend will take it away and bring it back in the same state you had it.
6. You got a drink of water and now you have renewed energy to look at it again.
7. Success.

There are people you won’t ask for help if the cost versus reward doesn’t pull you through the curve. Then, there are people you may call upon with a multi-tasking benefit. You may need to reconnect with them, stop banging your head against the wall for a few minutes and possibly get your problem solved. That’s what we call a win-win in the entrepreneurially roundtable. Now back to my technology…

How do I make it more fun to do a deep dive into the soul to bring out the best side of you?  Getting outside your normal situation at work, whether you normally wear a suit, or you wear jeans and converse to work.  Structure works.  Formats outside the world of “appointment/ set goals / time lapses / accountability / reset goals / time lapses” will make it more fun too.  But that pushes me to the edge of my creativity.

I am an extrovert and work better in collaboration (and in accountability) with others.  So I find partners to brainstorm and create programs.

Guess what?  I am having more fun working with others.  Oh yes, but, it’s more challenging.  Remember those group projects in school that nearly killed us?  Yeah, remember forming, norming, storming, performing, adjourning?  Yes, you can pretend that your group isn’t going to go through those but let’s be real.  Any productive group has a version of that process.  Groups that have leaders who set themselves up for success will move through the stages more smoothly and the group can anticipate those stages all together.

Here are six ways to make group projects smoother:

1. Clearly define the desired outcome.
2. Clearly define responsibilities within the group.
3. Clearly match the capabilities of the individuals to the tasks.
4. Clearly match the capacity of the individuals to the contribution.
5. Clearly create a language for accountability.
6. Clearly create a language for conflict.

What word is repeated in each section?  Yes, that would be clearly.  And by that, I mean clarify and discuss.  Give permission to storm and you won’t be so blindsided by disagreement.  (You will disagree or there wouldn’t be any reason to simply “do it yourself” right?)

Find out which team member is really good at each task or skill needed for the project and the project management.  Have a meeting (it doesn’t have to be life sucking) to put those stages on the table.  Talk about storming and how the group can make it okay to storm a little.

It’s more fun to collaborate.  And quite frankly I get more done… So I will have to take my own advice too.

Put a common language to the process and succeed sooner.

Well, I feel better after getting that off my chest.  Email is one of those necessary (and really useful) tools that people spend all day on, but there is efficiency to be gained from slowing down and putting thought into the email.  Garbage in gets your garbage out is still true!

Except, well, the results, you’re producing aren’t meeting the customers standards and timing. And there is a lot of money riding on meeting those standards. And there are a lot of jobs riding on those standards. Never mind future contracts and other current projects that are riding on finding a successful path to “getting this project on track.”

No pressure.

How do you turn a ship around when the direction isn’t as clear as the first path? That’s the billion dollar question. Or does it just have billions of dollars riding on it?

I was actually on a ship right after the issue with the Italian cruise ship hitting the reef. Ironic timing, yes? But using the metaphor “turning the ship around” has new meaning to me. The third day we were slated to dock at British Honduras. The dock is fairly new and the “parking space” accommodates the big ships. The excursions were all planned, the tickets sold, the people were ready to disembark. But the ship hadn’t docked yet.

The announcement was there was a delay. The night before was windy… and a little creepy from a passenger sense, listening to the boat/ship creak. We all speculated as to the course and the decision and the risk. We were all more aware of real risk of error due to the previous news reports. So we speculate and we wait.

The captain of the ship is the only one who can really make the ship change course. He made an announcement that we would skip this island and move slowly to the next island due to the velocity of the wind and the narrow opening between the reefs. He light heartedly said, “I am sure you can appreciate the precarious nature of the challenge.” And the collective laugh at breakfast was probably relief with the reassurance that the captain was doing the best for us. The islanders lost a lot of money that day. And in short order, we found many other activities.

What ship in your organization needs redirecting that will be met with a sigh of relief?

With an answer, you need a plan… John Kotter, who is a change process guy and his model, has an 8 step process for change:

1. Create a sense of urgency (the ship had some urgency to decide to dock or not)
2. Build a team of the right people (who needed to assess the safety/cost of docking or not)
3. Get clear on the vision or outcome and make sure it’s right (safety of the passengers)
4. Communicate, communicate, communicate (all staff on the ship had to then know their role)
5. Empower people to actually get the job done (the crew to attend to the need of the passengers for a revised on board activity schedule without time to micromanage)
6. Highlight the short term wins along the way so we all see progress (people to participate in the new activities and the ship’s staff in place must be recognized for changing the schedule)
7. Keep pushing… tenacity (His model is changing the culture making populations more change ready or comfortable with change)
8. Make the change or the new process stick (agile execution of change is seemless when the culture is consistently rewarded and the outcome is successful in a variety of executions)

While the captain was the one to make the announcement, you know there were more people involved in the decision. The ship crew that could get us docked, the weather people, and the local captain who helps guide the ship in as the expert of that particular part of the Caribbean all had to weigh in. They had to have dialogue. What if one of the experts in that group wasn’t given a chance to speak or was afraid to go against the goal of making big bucks on selling excursions? What if the captain wasn’t really strong enough to make a very unpopular decision to stop the process and gather the guiding coalition to make a good decision? There are a lot of “what ifs” along any pathway to big reward.

Is your guiding team of experts able and willing and rewarded for speaking out what may seem like against the goals? Are they able to share their perspective and slow down the process enough to ensure the ship or project will meet the intended outcomes?

Bring in people to help you see where the real communication is blocked. If you’re not getting the information or the outcomes you need, bring in an objective observer who will tell the truth about what is not being said.

7 Steps to E-Mail like a Mack Truck – by Jodell Rowland

Okay, I admit I burst into tears, nay, sobs, yesterday while I was watching a rerun of Undercover Boss.  You may have seen the TV show-C-suite residents slip incognito into hourly jobs in the bowels of their company to learn more about how their workers feel.

Yesterday’s show involved the CEO of Mack trucks, and the tear jerking scene for me came when CEO guy  worked on the assembly line next to a 30-year plus veteran, who cared so much about the quality of the truck, he was a member of the Mack collectors group, and owner of over 20 ancient rigs himself. He coaxed the “new guy” to match up a bumper exactly, and even challenged the fake assembly line worker to “hit it like a Mack” when he asked him to put down the hood.

I didn’t cry because of a bad acting job—It was because a heartfelt worker honestly felt complete pride and loyalty to his company. The man reminded me of my dad, and all the hard-working Red Wing boot-wearing people who still pursue excellence in their work.  And it reminded me of probably the biggest challenge I have in my side of working in corporate America.

Much of my work-life in global marketing involves e-mails.  E-mails from different directions; clients, other departments, team members here in the Midwest, across the country, and overseas. Sure, they don’t involve a crankshaft, or a steering column, but they have the ability to convince, coerce, and sadly due to their poor quality, confound me. I’d like to think I have the same kind of intensity about excellence in writing e-mails that hopefully that same Mack veteran had about making sure every bolt is tightened right.

So it’s with that goal in mind, I’d like to offer a couple of ideas to make your own e-mail correspondence impress the secret CEOs in your midst, or at the least carry the same kind of Bulldog-tough accuracy that our Mack truck building friend does:

1. Keep it neutral stupid, I mean my fellow co-worker: I understand if clients want to send an e-mail that carries an accusatory tone.  In this contentious time, many feel that is the right they are paying for. But if you are sending a note to a co-worker, save the angry tone and opt for a more neutral voice. Consider taking a Technical writing course, and focus on language that concisely describes a situation with facts, not emotions.
2. Don’t trash your own company more than the client. It’s amazing how many times we receive e-mails from a client calling us out in the subject line (i.e., Another Company X screw-up, Missing Company X orders, etc.)  That’s bad enough, but even worse when one of us replies to THAT SAME SUBJECT LINE and in effect keeps the bad press going.  Make sure that subject lines use said professional, neutral tone, and always err on the side of rational information.  Imagine Star Trek’s Mr. Spock reading your e-mails out loud, not emotional chief engineer Scotty (self-described non-miracle worker.)
3. Please summarize a long string of e-mails if you insist on sending the whole dang lot of them.  It’s obvious you think the last three days of e-mails have been a bit of a challenge to deal with. And you are asking for my help in trying to get something resolved. Then please, summarize “the ask” in your e-mail and share the top three points. The only thing worse than carrying a discussion on through e-mail versus a phone call or live meeting, is wasting your manager’s time by having them read the whole string, too.  Or worse, them not getting your point, or taking the opposite view.
4. Phone calls disappear into vapor if you don’t recap them in a concise e-mail. This goes for getting complimented OR chastised by a client, or placing an order with a partner.  Secretaries transcribing our every move are long gone, but the need to memorialize conversations remains. Do yourself a favor and get key points into writing before the other person starts believing what they thought they heard and moving in that direction.
5. There’s a big difference between Reply and Reply All.  Don’t think so? Ask my former co-worker who told the whole company that his wife has a shellfish allergy when replying to a holiday dinner invitation.  Ask his wife how many people watched what she ate at the holiday party.  Do 54 people really need to see, read, delete the message you send telling someone thank you?
6. Know the difference between their and there, or your and you’re, and use it.  I was lucky enough to have 5th grade teacher Mrs. Nottelson, and I bet there are still lots of folks like me who want to see words used correctly. Please indulge us.
7. Save THX and LOL for the IM world. My co-worker calls those phrases lazy language.    I tell my team if their e-mails become the last written page that ends up fluttering in the air, at least make it complete sentences.

Undercover Boss ended with a reveal, and some generous donations to the Mack collectors group, along with other deserving co-workers’ causes.  That exercise in “going under cover” serves as a research project about what’s really going on in the company.  Everyone in that picture is responsible for putting their best foot forward as if there was a camera and there would be a reveal at the end of the hour.  It’s a wake-up call for the CEO who is not connected to correct some actions.  It’s a wake-up call for each member of the team to take a look at our actions and the reactions of those around us.  We’re responsible for communicating effectively and efficiently!

Set up your own “undercover boss” reveal and reread your own emails from another person perspective.   What would you change?

Until now, when my dear friend Wendy Overend, who recently completed her doctoral studies and while she is exhausted she is in the very juiciest of the stages. She writes about the stages of completion for coaches. Coaches, who usually walk people through all stages of progress, are sometimes left sitting behind. No different from any other human being, coaches are impacted by the same cycles as the rest of the world. So to that, I am being coached by my client / friend / co-conspirator / and pupil. Understanding the process is the first step to harnessing the power.

Guest writer Wendy Overend, Ph.D. writes on completion –

The idea of completion can fill anyone with dread, not least of all coaches. However, if we consider the process of completion, just the same as a process of conflict resolution, or the same as the process of grieving, we can utilize a similar simple model to apply to this natural process of endings.

In doing so, this thought process and model may help us move forward during times of change that deeply impact our livelihood; challenge our sometimes fragile egos, or our hopes and expectations.

The Handbook of Coaching by Fredric M. Hudson states that “coaching offers hope” (pg. xviii.) Hudson shares four simple new rules that can easily be mapped to the model of completion in a coach’s business life:

1. The cyclical rule, i.e. managing the art of cycling through, practicing self-renewal.
2. The continuous change rule, i.e. not being defeated by ongoing change.
3. The inside-out rule, i.e. using your inner beliefs to remain positive.
4. The learning-is-for-everyone rule, i.e. remembering that learning IS our primary activity, no matter how young or old we are.

The reality of completion can be overlapped or over layered on these above mentioned rules with the following four questions shared by life coach Chris Petrossian:

• When is it ever complete?
• What did I/we learn?
• What am I proud of? And finally…
• What does this lead to?

Step 1: The cyclical rule and the “when is it ever complete” question.

Reframing, every coach’s gift to their clients should be applied in thinking about the word “completion.” The work of a coach is never complete. The task of completion may include invoicing the final session, getting paid, requesting an evaluation, asking for a recommendation, and requesting a referral. These tasks can be developed into a sequence of tasks that would seemingly indicate completion, but in fact, are tactical maneuvers that prolong the experience and, as such, should be reframed as marketing, business development, institutional advancement, strategy, planning—all these suggest an ongoing engagement.

Add requests for LinkedIn, Facebook (Like), an e-quote for your brochure, website, business card, book jacket, and be sure to get approval for use of client name, or company name, or simply job title, for use in marketing materials, flyers, advertisements, quotes can be written, solicited, copied, but from a coaches perspective need to be tailored to suit the next market, gig, or area of outreach that could bear fruit for new coaching work. See, when is it ever complete? It is continuous… which leads us to rule two…

Step 2: The continuous change rule and the “what did I/we learn?”

Naturally, the insights from coaching are clarifying. It is after we take time retrospectively that we not only see clearly the importance of coaching, but we see what we learned about ourselves in the process, what we learned about the art of coaching, what we learned about listening, and what we learned to say. Additionally, we see in this question what we learned about our tenacity, persistence, and drive to stay the course, to develop and grow as coaches, but also how to develop and grow our business. We are educated with hindsight and reflection. We reframe our own ideas, tweak, rest, renew, rejuvenate, and then we reassess about what we learned. And, we rejoice that our clients learned too.

To that effect, we as coaches must remember our insights and journaled notes from the field. All of these become fodder for future clients, writing, insights for improving and changing our techniques, style, approach to coaching in the future.

Step 3: Inside-out and the what am I most proud of?

The easiest way to see growth is to quantify what you did – be it a six session gig, a two-hour workshop, a four-month assignment, working for two years with a company and their executives, contracting with an HR manager for ongoing trainings, working online, coaching by telephone, coaching international clients from your home office, etc. The first step is to Name It. What did you just do?

Think of all the nuances of what you did; the driving, the meetings, the invoicing, the study, the preparation. Be Proud. Then, taking Byron Katie’s simple tools from “Who Would You Be Without Your Story?,” tell that story using these four questions: Is it true? Can you be absolutely sure it is true? How do you react when you believe that thought? Who would you be without that thought?

While doing the “inside-out” work, think about what (the quantified version) you did. And think about how important was the impact of the work you did.

Step 4: Learning is for everyone and what does this lead to?

Learning, in the thought of completion, is as simple as looking at what you do differently or did differently as a result of the event that you’ve just completed. Think classic 7 Habits of Highly Effective People from the 70’s by Stephen Covey. Covey’s habit of “start with the end in mind”—ask what did you or your client seek to want to change? How will you leverage those learnings for the next step? What is the next step? How long before the next step comes my way? What would the client say they learned? What initiative and responsibility must I make to really keep learning? Stephen Covey says “response-ability” is the ability to choose our response. How will you respond to the newly found space after completion?

So, put yourself in control of a completion model. You’ve made yourself a promise. You held yourself to that promise. And now leave space after completion to create new ideas!

Go to a nearby tree, count the leaves. Go to the beach, scoop up some sand, try to count the grains. Remember your place in the Universe. Think of more clients. Think about getting new clients. Think of referrals. And think of all you have done so far.

Look backwards, but live forwards. All abundance applies to you. Your deserving heritage is abundance. Everything will come to you, and there is enough for all of us.

This abundance applies to you, your creative energy, your generative skills, your talents, and they are all part of your soul purpose to coach and share these gifts with others. Your “job” is to express this soul purpose again, and again, and again.

Yes, completion is part of the process of being and becoming a great, wise, experienced coach, but it doesn’t complete you. Today is the beginning of new learning and a new way of coping with endings. What will it lead to?

Go for it!

Well, there are many ways to disengage when you’re in the middle of a conversation that’s going terribly wrong or long. You’re really the only one responsible for your time. Here are some ways to get yourself away from that chatty co-worker:

1. Stand up, grab a pad, a pen and keep talking but walk out of your office.
2. Look at your watch, then, start edging away from the person.
3. Close your lips and stop talking. Yes, even if they ask a question. Silence is powerful.
4. Bring attention to the person that you want to stop talking by putting your hand over your mouth.
5. Bring attention to the other person that you want the conversation to end by putting your hand over their mouth.
6. If you’re on the phone, they go on and on, simply stand up as if you’re leaving and you’ll naturally move the conversation to a close.
7. If you’re in a third person’s office, simply stand up and move towards the door.
8. If you have the temerity of noticing while you’re speaking that the conversation is going badly simply stop.
9. Stare at them until they stop.
10. Give them the stink eye until they stop (unless they are the boss or a customer.)
11. Even if they ask a question, there is no law that says you have to answer.
12. Do the “fade away” where you simply imperceptibly move backward away from the person until you’re around a corner or out of their office. But don’t acknowledge the movement.
13. Give them the finger. Yes, the first finger as if to say one minute. If you have a cell phone place the phone to your head as if to listen, even though it didn’t ring. Then nod, and walk away.
14. Look concerned at your watch as if you’ve left your 3 year old on the street in front of day care and walk away.
15. If they’ve entered your office (following you) put whatever you were carrying down, glance at the computer screen and exclaim, “I can’t believe I am late for this” and start walking. Then give them the finger.
16. If in someone else’s office check your watch twice and the third time check it and leave.
17. Sniff into the air and ask if they smell smoke and move away.
18. Tap your pencil, finger, toe or head against the table.
19. Ask politely if they mind if you keep the group on task as you have to leave shortly.
20. Print out the agenda for everyone so when you ask where are we on the agenda someone will get you back on track.
21. Enlist someone near you to call your phone to interrupt the flow of dialogue.
22. Talking when they talk isn’t illegal it’s just not ideal – so tell them you’ve got to wrap it up.
23. Answer the phone even if it doesn’t ring. Tell them it’s important. If they push back tell them you’ve muted your phone. Who is to know there isn’t a mute feature?
24. Manage expectations when they “pop” in for a conversation that you only have 5 minutes.
25. Make sure not to ask additional prolonging questions.
26. Tell them “that’s a topic for another time” and then walk away.
27. Tell them “that’s a great item for the agenda of your next meeting.”
28. Pick something out of your teeth and really dig in there to get it… ask if they have floss.
29. Ask a diversionary question, “Did you get invited to the boss’s house this weekend?” when they look surprised, look embarrassed and just walk away.
30. If they’re yelling and spitting, get a wet nap or one of those alcohol pads and wipe away. If they are undaunted you may want to offer the people around you or them one or even dab it on their lip.
31. Buck up, it’s your time and you’re responsible for how you choose to manage it.
32. Walk away.
33. There is nothing in the employee handbook that says you have to stand there and partake in the other person’s to do list.
34. After talking about abuse it’s hard to go simple… so get dramatic and fall on the floor.
35. Drop your pencil, get down on your hands and knees and crawl away.
36. Ask them if they want to see a few hundred pictures of your baby, your plant, your dogs, your trip to the Grand Canyon.
37. Ask them to look as the rash on your back to tell you if they think it’s contagious.
38. Open up your calendar and ask them, “When are you available to have this conversation?”
39. Sniff in the air and ask if they smell donuts? And walk towards the kitchen.
40. Start to shift from leg to leg (commonly known as the potty dance) and get more dramatic until they let you go.
41. Tell them you were on your way to the bathroom to do some serious business.
42. Again, stop talking if you’re not headed in the right direction with a conversation. If you stop mid-sentence they may wait for you to continue. You then choose whether to redirect, stop and walk away or explain.
43. Step on their foot, lightly, and beg forgiveness.
44. If they have you blocked slowly move closer until they back away. Then move out.
45. If they come into your office – and you know they’re going to go on and on, act that you’re glad to see them because another (more annoying) person just phoned and said they were on their way up to talk them. This will only work if the first person in this convoluted story is also annoyed by the second person in this story.’
46. Wave your arms like there is a stink in your office you don’t want them to smell and steer them away from your office.
47. Slam your coffee / water / tea and get up to get more from the kitchen. They may follow you but then you’re not trapped in your office.
48. Ask if they got the online time sensitive coupon that has limited quantity for the lunch restaurant near the building.
49. Tell them you’re finishing the report the boss asked for and you’re really stretched. Oh… they hadn’t heard about it? Tell them to ask someone who is done.
50. Seriously people, get creative, it’s only business and it’s only time, and it’s yours not theirs to decide how you spend it. Tell them you don’t have time. Their priorities are only yours if you choose to make them yours. We’re all adults here.

Bonus: Loud talker in the office near you?

1. Act as if you’re totally engaged via eye contact in a conversation, with someone they can’t see, while they’re on speaker phone walk up to their office. Wave hello to them. Then close their office door all the while speaking to someone they cannot see.
2. Shut your door.
3. Walk out with your headset on and point to your headset and give them the gesture of not being able to hear.